if you like me you must not know who I am
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Randomize
