dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize