do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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