whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
