Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize
