I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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