Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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