gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
