dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize