Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
