Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Actions speak louder than pants.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
