I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
