peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
No subtext here. People are naked.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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