call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
