Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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