Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
These tits shall not be calmed
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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