so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
