Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize