I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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