yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
