k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
it was like his penis was on wheels.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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