I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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