I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
We need to get me chipped asap
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
