A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
