Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
