i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize