Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Randomize
