for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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