just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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