honey bunches of taint.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
