Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
this will be a night to untag.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize