You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Can I color on your dick again?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
