But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
your like the ambassador to my penis.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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