Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
