i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
