i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
