Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
