I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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