I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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