I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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