Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
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