I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
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