How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
did i just pee glitter
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
