I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
