Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
