and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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