We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
