i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
