I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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