Don't make out with my wife yet
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
