i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
