Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
