So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize