The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
