I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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