Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
