so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
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