Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
someone owes me an orgasm
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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